Tradition

Traditions were always really important to me growing up: a blazing fire and turkey on Thanksgiving (followed by a long nap or undisturbed silence for cuddling up with a good book); a certain serving spoon that Grandma used whenever she had sliced tomatoes (with homemade mayo on the side, of course!); getting to put the Santa ornament on our Advent calendar the night before Christmas and waking up to the smell of Sara Lee's butter streusel coffee cake in the morning; working puzzles with my Mom on snow days; Saturday morning grocery shopping ...  Big things, little things, didn't matter - they were the mile-markers of my growing-up years.  I want that for my kids, too.

When Hayne and I got married, I asked what traditions he'd want to start with me and our new family.  He was put off at first ... he's one of those go-with-the-flow kind of guys who doesn't have an innate need for routine and structure like I do (and it seems G does).  Early on in our marriage, this was a source of frustration and anxiety for me - I like knowing what our plans will be for Christmas (as early as August), what we're having for dinner three nights from now, what I can stock up on now for our move in March ...  I've gotten a bit more relaxed as the years have gone by, but knowing what to expect and how things might happen provides me with a measure of security and belonging - both of which are ways that my soul is fed by my family traditions.

That said, we have managed to develop a few of them - some more informal than others: taking turns putting each kid to bed at night; half-birthday celebrations; no TV or phones during mealtime; Grandmama Grace's waffles on special mornings and so on...

For the last 3 years, we have created a Thankful Tree.  It's a tree cut out of paper or cardboard tacked up to the wall, and every night before bed, we each get a leaf and write one thing or person on it for which we are thankful and put it up on the tree.  We always start right after Halloween and continue through Thanksgiving Day.

The kids love it.  N was excited to talk to Hayne on the phone when she got home from school the other day to tell him that the tree was up.

Two nights ago, and G came down at around 10:00 in tears because we forgot to put up our leaves.  She was so terribly upset!  We of course consoled her with the idea that she'd get to put up two leaves the next night, which helped ... a little.

I'm glad that it means so much to her - that she's already forming fond memories of our family time together.  It's one of those intangible things I can give her to mark her childhood years and give her a sense of security within our family unit, as well as meaning and belonging both now and in the future.